On the face of it, Thanksgiving is a time for optimism and happiness, so maybe it’s a strange time to choose to write about depression again, but it fits pretty well for me. This is a weird time in our nation; I’m not feeling happy and grateful, per se, most of the time. What I am really grateful for, both lately and in the last six months or so, is Prozac.
I wrote two years ago about the relentlessness of dysthymia. When I injured myself again last October, and had to deal with more months of enforced inactivity, I was finding it hard to deploy the management strategies that had worked for me before, and I was feeling pretty rotten. I finally decided to give Prozac a try.
It very rapidly made a substantial difference in my emotional state, largely erasing my chronic tendency to fall down the mood ladder, and making it easier to create emotional space during stressful times or moments. I don’t seem to experience noticeable emotional blunting; I still feed sad, frustrated/angry, and happy at appropriate times (during a breakup, after the election, when I got the offer for my new job). I do experience excess fatigue, which mostly manifests as a tendency to easily move from rest to nap in the afternoon or evening if I’m not busy with something. It’s a little annoying, but far from debilitating (and sometimes kind of nice).
I’m hoping to eventually go back to managing things myself, but my experience with Better Living Through Chemistry has been extremely positive, and I’m grateful that this is an option for me, and that I decided to make use of it.
This absurdly adorable cat and I wish you a happy Thanksgiving, and hope you have something equally good to be grateful for.